Breakfast meeting - check.
Cleaning rooms - check.
Put together 87 conference folders - check.
details, details, details - check.
...so went the better part of my day today. (yeah, it's Saturday) I'm not quite drowning, but am barely keeping my chin out of the water in my pool called work. With one thing right after the other, I barely get a full night's sleep before the next event, let alone a weekend to recharge.
So, what the heck is all of this for? Why am I killing myself one stress-ball at a time? I asked myself this question on the way home from work today.
My thoughts first turned to Pratt's sermon last Sunday at St. Pauls. He pointed out one of the worst handicapp's of the American church - you know those famous declarative words "all men....are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, among them the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness." It's in our American DNA that we have rights, for goodness sake! And we deserve happiness! And we deserve to do things our way so that we ensure that happiness.
This aspect of my American persona, however, diametrically contradicts the teachings of Christ. You are not your own, you were bought at a price - 1 Cor 6. Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord - Rom 14. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit - Phil 2. As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling which you have received - Eph 4. It's all over the place in Scripture!
So, really, my idea of happiness is not the standard by which all things are measured. (newsflash!) I belong to a great God who is orchestrating my life according to His glorious riches, as different as they are from mine.
Great. Another thing to do. My task-oriented self adds #3782478 to the checklist: Realign my priorities with Christ's.
These thoughts and emotions exhausted me, so after praying about them with my roomie this afternoon, I decided it was time for a nap. Two hours later, as I was coming out of my coma, I heard the Lord whisper "Bec, it's so much better than that. Stop doing and just sit with me a while." In His gentle way, He reminded me of His Scripture that I've read this week.
Still reveling in the prophets after my Isaiah-Malachi seminary course this spring, I studied Habakkuk earlier this week and found an honesty I could connect with. Habakkuk cried out to the Lord - how long must the unjust triumph? The Lord responds that justice is on the way! And Habukkuk answers...you call this justice? Apparently the Babylonians slamming Israel and taking them into captivity is not what Habakkuk had in mind. But an assuring word from the God of all gods renewed the promises Habakkuk knew to be true in his soul and enabled him to truly say, "Do it again, Lord! Renew your deeds in our day! And whatever happens in the meantime - I'm with you."
Then I started through the book of Acts and was amazed at Peter's teaching in the Temple in chapter 3. This is just after Pentacost, just after the Ascension, and I read this chapter twice last night simply amazed at Peter's grasp of the Gospel! He quotes Moses and the prophets, presenting Jesus as the completion of all the promises in the Old Testament and the covenant, challenges people to repentance, and declares that a time will come when God will "restore everyting as promised long ago through his holy prophets."
Before you think I'm rambling, let me tell you why my heart is singing...God is writing a story. It's a grand story that spans across millenia from the beginning of time - through the prophets - through some very dark times (see Habakkuk) - gloriously personalized in Christ's life, death, and resurrection - sustained by the Holy Spirit thoughout generations upon generations - and one day fully restored and completed by our Warrior-King.
And -now for the best news- I'm part of this story!! I'm so "in." It's not just about me wanting my happiness, or me slaving for Christ. It's about living out the Story, loving my role in the Story, hanging out with the Author of the Story, and enjoying every minute of this adventure.
God had to remind Habukkuk of the Story and encouraged Habukkuk to hold on tight and press on. (that guy needs a nickname) Peter reminded the Israelites of the Story and encouraged them to jump in. And oh! how I need to be reminded of the Story again and again and again! All of *this* that I get so easily caught up in is nothing without the eternal perspective my Father offers. My stubborn hearts needs a refresher course in that eternal perspective about every other minute.
"Hey, kid. I'm not done with my Story yet. Wanna be a part of it? Wanna hop up here and see what I'm doing? I'll give you a sneak peak: I win. And here's a tip: Live in the adventure of my Story and you'll have the time of your life."
Yo Readers...tell me about your chapter in this Story and remind me of what He's up to!