reflection

Whenever I have my earphones on at work, my co-workers know that I’ve effectually “closed my door.” I don’t want to be bothered.

Well, I’ve got those earphones on right now. My soul (not to mention my body) feels weary today….no particular reason…just weary and aching for something more.

It’s an interesting feeling, really. Somewhat perplexing, I must admit. How does it work? Where does this gnawing originate? I usually refer to these feelings in reference to my soul, because I can’t pinpoint the soul either. Where is it? Why does it feel this way? Gnawing is just one of the regular symptoms of having a soul that has been awakened. What about the aching? the hardness? the softness? the pruning? the stretching? the bliss? the thrill? the chase? the simple, satisfying stillness? So varied, my soul is! I’m telling you…perplexing. I’m perplexing.

Yes, my friend, this awakened soul of mine is also an amazing, sacrificial gift.

Remember the LORD’s promises to the people of Israel: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”

It was a rich promise to Israel – one they fought for and wept over and craved with everything in them – but it’s a reality for me. Without question. The Father promised, then sacrificed His Son. Jesus left riches to humble himself in more ways than I can count, and endured the pain of death. And now the Spirit seals my soul as belonging to Him…and gnaws, aches, hardens, softens, prunes, stretches, multiplies joy, pursues, and satisfies my soul to a depth of intimacy that is perplexing!! (I’m still not over that.)

Seriously…one of the first things Lauri said to me this morning (beyond telling me how big of a fish she caught yesterday) was in the form of a shriek of wonder that we have the Spirit living in us. It’s a wonderfully perplexing thing, when you really get to thinking about it.

So, my soul outlook today: weary and aching for something more. But Praise Jesus for an awakened soul. Because of Him, I have something bigger and better to long for, namely, His glory and His Kingdom in all its fullness. I haven’t been lost. I haven’t been forgotten. My soul matters to the King of Kings. He’s calling me deeper and deeper into Himself.

From my headphones today, you would have heard this song on repeat…

Searching for truth, longing for peace
Nothing satisfies – the ache will not cease
Come fill me up, as only You can
All of my times, Lord, you hold in the palm of your hand

Worship the King, all heaven and earth!
Gratefully sing of his power and love
You are the Lord, the Ancient of Days
We will bow down and live for your praise

You are the first, You are the last
You’re our hope to come as ages pass
You are the one – faithful and true
All that I need, Lord, is found only in you

Worship the King, all heaven and earth!
Gratefully sing of his power and love
You are the Lord, the Ancient of Days
We will rejoice…rejoice!

Worship the King, all heaven and earth!
Gratefully sing of his power and love
You are the Lord, the Ancient of Days
We will rejoice and live for your praise

We will rejoice and live for your praise….may that be the theme song of my soul, no matter what the outlook.