I was pondering this yesterday and found myself examining my own life. I don't want to be charactized by such an attitude. To start, I must plant all my securites in Christ alone. But I also want my life to be expressed in service to others, in inspiring others, in empowering others to be all they were created to be in Christ. Oh, how I pray to that end!
Don't misunderstand, that certainly goes against the grain of my original self. Don't we all aspire to be great? Don't we all want to be loved, to be known, to be praised, to do something worthwhile, to make a mark on history? Certainly I recognize others' struggles on the ladder of greatness because I myself am also fighting importance. I want to be needed. I want an important job that no one else can do. I want others to think I'm doing an amazing thing.
God has been blessing me lately through a book by Carole Mayhall called "Words that Hurt, Words that Heal." The second chapter highlighted the sins of boasting and bragging. Now, it shouldn't be a surprise how convicted I was about my selfish heart by the end of that short chapter, especially after starting with thoughts about how I don't really struggle with those sins much. Instead, I was deeply struck by some of the following thoughts:
"The difference between sharing information and boasting is who gets the glory." p.31
--Are some of my comments and conversations that I deem normal or just sharing of information (especially in prayer requests, challenges the author) really just an unneccessary elevation of myself? Am I masking my boasting?
"When we boast and brag about ourself, our accomplishments, our importance, or our status, we are not only committing a sin of commission, but two of omission. Bragging draws attention to the "I" of pr-I-de, which is a sin of commission. But we are also failing to give God the glory and failing to edify, or build up, other believers." p.33
--Wow, that actually hit me hard. I knew that boasting and bragging was stealing God's glory, but I never realized how sinful it is also to not edify my family in those words. Remember that the world will know we are His by our love for each other.
(There's more! I heartily recommend this book!)
Oh Lord, please keep me from lifting myself up in place of You. You alone are worthy to be honored and praised! I am forever indebted unto you for choosing me and just making me somebody. I am nothing without you. But true greatness comes from aligning myself with You - your heart - and pointing this world toward You alone. Cultivate in my life a servant's attitude, I pray. And grant me great joy in serving You through serving others. Amen.
